Nina Simone on the iTunes...freshly showered and smellin' nice...new unmentionables...geez, the only thing that is keeping this from being a date night is the fact that I'm drinking tea instead of red wine.
Awright, I went to see "Pirates of the Caribbean" today, because I figured I deserved a stupid movie...and man did I get what I deserved. What a dumb movie. I mean, it was fun, it was a GOOD bad movie, but only just. My biggest beef was with the sailing and nautical bits--now I'm not a sailor, I have never been on a ship under sail, but I'm pretty sure they were doing it ALL WRONG. At one point a character goes "actually, it doesn't take that many people to sail a ship..." implying you could do it with three or four, which is FALSE. Have you ever tried to reef in 500 yards of wet canvas?! You're going to need more than four people!!! And don't even get me started on the cannon. If you were going to shoot the cannons effectively on the Black Pearl, you'd need three people per cannon, which, assuming there are six on each side, means eighteen people just to fire in ADDITION to a crew. and THEN you have Orlando Bloom running around shouting orders and instead of someone going "hang on, you're not a captain, you're not a first mate, you're not even a part of the crew, what the hell are you doing giving orders?" And, anyway, where did Orlando Bloom learn to sail?! Apparently he was teaching Keira Knightly how to use a sword because she is lethal in this film--in addition to learning how to wear a corset--so when did he take sailing lessons? I also feel that Norrington's character was completely out of character, but that's a side note. I am glad that someone addressed the "hang on, does that mean Bootstraps Bill is still alive down at the bottom of the ocean?" question presented at the end of the first movie, but I think that someone needed to reign in the CGI effects people with Davey Jones's crew. Overall, I'd give it a C, with a special A+ going out to Geoffrey Rush, 'cause by the time he showed up I was like "Yes! Geoffrey Rush, thank God you're here--save this movie!!"