02:00

Which is worse? Knowing that there is no God OR that there is a God, but he's ignoring you? I was thinking about this on the way home tonight. It's interesting that in the show the "Doctor" never denies the existence of God, but instead appears very upset that God is taking no notice of him at all, regardless of how many people he kills. I think the answer to this question is: the worst is not knowing which is true. Yes, there is no God. or. Yes, there is a God, but he's ignoring you. Tonight's favourite moment is when the Doctor finally lets his mask of self-assurance slip and asks Father Riccardo if God really spoke to him. David tried it sarcastically at first: "Did you really hear him call? There at the crematoria?" but then he discovered that it worked better as a sincere question. The best part is Father Riccardo doesn't answer. ahhh! So many questions in this play.

Like, where did all these weird little bruises come from?! I have about a dozen random bruises, each the size of a 5p coin, scattered on my person. They're probably a combination of load-in and malnourishment, the latter springing from the fact I haven't seen the inside of a grocery store in about two weeks. But tomorrow I don't have to be at the theatre until 6!! Shock!! So I'm going to go shopping. and not set an Alarm. That's very important. Right now we're in the middle of a massive heatwave--I'm talking 90 plus degrees for the past four days, at least--and the Finburra is a little black oven. We hired some air conditioners, but they can only do so much against the heat producing machines that are stage lights. So add it all up: overworked, heatstroked, underslept, eating rubbish from corner stores and takeaways. Yeah. Not going to get out of bed before noon tomorrow.

It's like I've been saying: this business that we call show is a DRUG. It's the only reason I can see for it. more addictive than heroin and yet still legal!!! But how could we do anything else? Ah. I recall when I was in My Fair Lady and we once stayed up until 4 am workinc scene changes--I was 14 and Mom stayed up for me--when I walked in the door she said "Where were you!" and I said, "At the theatre, we were rehearsing scene changes" and she said, "But why YOU?" and I could only stare at her blankly. :)