OMG, I read today in the Metro, morning standard of journalistic integrity, that CILLIAN MURPHY is going to be in the West End in a new play. AAAAAAAAAHHHH! In London! He's here rehearsing right now! We might be breathing the same Tube-soaked air!!! Murphy, who is best known for being the guy who is going to be playing Nelson in my movie as soon as I write it, is currently reigning as my favourite actor. I don't even know what the play is about. I don't care. All I care about is it's going to be in a theatre with a stage door where one might potentially stand in painful excitement and embarass oneself so thouroughly that the only option remaining is to move to Antartica and never answer the door again. Ever.
Meanwhile, I hear that John Kerry is botching jokes in America. Apparently he was addressing a group of students and he said, "You know what happens when you don't have access to education? You end up in Iraq!" thereby implying that the soldiers serving overseas are idiots who couldn't figure out how to avoid being conscripted into the army. According to his spokesperson, what Kerry meant to say was "Do you know what happens when you don't have good education? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq. Just ask President Bush!" thereby implying that Bush is the idiot. Which is true. But now I'm mad at Kerry because a) he sounds like a jerk, and b) he can't crack a joke properly. And he won't apologise for it either. I've been watching the news about the mid-term elections like it's the World Cup. I can't wait to see who wins. Rah rah, go Dems go!