Wednesday, November 29, 2006

please move right down inside the carriage

I'm still enamoured of the Tube, just...not at 8:30 in the morning. There were "SEVERE DELAYS" on the Piccadilly line today, which made me 15 minutes late for work and "severely cranky." When a train is stopped in a station it's customary to leave the doors open so that people can get some air, but this also leaves you susceptible to more people pushing on--and I do mean pushing--even when we're already packed in like salted herrings for a long sea voyage. The Piccadilly line has the smallest carriages, literally, if you're standing by the door you can't stand up straight and they are narrower than any other line. So we were waiting in one of the stations for the train to move along when a man behind me said "Excuse me, could you move down inside the carriage?" Short answer: "no." Long answer: "No you bloody nutjob, there is not enough room for the people already on the train much less you and your overstuffed briefcase. Open your EYES." That didn't stop him from getting on huffily, as though I was deliberately preventing him from getting on by somehow making my body twice it's normal size. Long story short, I spent the rest of the ride groin-to-groin with the man in front AND the jerk behind me. Awwwk-wwward. Just don't make eye contact. Just don't look directly at him. Try not to think about how happy you are you buttoned your coat before you got on. Consider fainting on jerk behind you, but then realise he would probably toss you off at the next stop if it meant more room. Jerk.

If I stay in London, I'm going to move near Greenwich and take a boat to work everyday. At least that way, if it was full, I could pretend to be a pirate on my way to loot and plunder rather than some miner on the way to t'pit. Arrrrr.


Chris said...

I love your imagination with the pirate thing. I hear you on the woes of public transit. My favorite L story involes three very drunk Loyola Freshman, who had never lived in a large city before, or taken public transit from the looks of it. They even left a present. The drunkest of the three puke one stop before they had to get off and left the carriage with a lovely aroma that I got to enjoy for the next 8 stops. I think a ferry boat would be an amazing way to commute. If you do end up doing that can let m know if the pirate thing works. :)

premiere girl said...

Ahhhh, imagine how I miss London, that even 'severe delays' sounds good to me..