tragedy + 2 minutes = comedy

I don't know if anyone has heard about the Russian spy who's died in London recently, but it's starting to turn into a secret agent movie from the 1960s. Apparently Alexander Litveneko, an outspoken critic of Putin's new Russian government, was poisoned with radioactive material at his favourite sushi restaurant. Now the British government is trying to find out who killed him. Luckily radioactive material leaves a radioactive trace wherever it goes, so they've been able to follow it around the city of London like one of those "Family Circus" cartoons. The Russian government denies all involvement, of course, but they're not exactly forthcoming with information, as you can imagine. One of the places Scotland Yard has found radiation is on 3 Boeing 767s which are owned by BA, and which have been in service for the past month. They've been grounded for tests, but BA has had to release a list of flights that were affected. This in turn has thrown the secretarial pool here at the office into something of a whirl, as it transpires that some of our directors may have been on these planes. Unless they were licking the guy who was holding the poison, however, there's not much chance they are radioactive. Besides, there would have been a few tell-tale signs: hair loss, vomiting, glowing green, etc. I joke, but seriously, this whole thing is like a bad pitch for the next Austin Powers movie: "Okay, so after getting off the plane and poisoning the Russian, Austin goes for a walk around Harrods and then has a night out clubbing before staggering around Soho for a few hours and then passing out in a doorway." And there's nothing like watching a highly paid executive going a delicate shade of pale when a group of mischevious secretaries point out to him that the flew on one of the Death Planes.

please move right down inside the carriage

I'm still enamoured of the Tube, just...not at 8:30 in the morning. There were "SEVERE DELAYS" on the Piccadilly line today, which made me 15 minutes late for work and "severely cranky." When a train is stopped in a station it's customary to leave the doors open so that people can get some air, but this also leaves you susceptible to more people pushing on--and I do mean pushing--even when we're already packed in like salted herrings for a long sea voyage. The Piccadilly line has the smallest carriages, literally, if you're standing by the door you can't stand up straight and they are narrower than any other line. So we were waiting in one of the stations for the train to move along when a man behind me said "Excuse me, could you move down inside the carriage?" Short answer: "no." Long answer: "No you bloody nutjob, there is not enough room for the people already on the train much less you and your overstuffed briefcase. Open your EYES." That didn't stop him from getting on huffily, as though I was deliberately preventing him from getting on by somehow making my body twice it's normal size. Long story short, I spent the rest of the ride groin-to-groin with the man in front AND the jerk behind me. Awwwk-wwward. Just don't make eye contact. Just don't look directly at him. Try not to think about how happy you are you buttoned your coat before you got on. Consider fainting on jerk behind you, but then realise he would probably toss you off at the next stop if it meant more room. Jerk.

If I stay in London, I'm going to move near Greenwich and take a boat to work everyday. At least that way, if it was full, I could pretend to be a pirate on my way to loot and plunder rather than some miner on the way to t'pit. Arrrrr.

how do you solve a problem like Nicole Marie?

I'll be seeing you in
All the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through

In that small cafe
That park across the way
The children's carousel,
the chestnut tree...
The wishing well.

I'll be seeing you in
Every single summer's day
In every thing that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way

I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon
But I'll be seeing you.


Arndis is going back to Iceland and I'm sad that another friend from London is leaving. I know so few people, and I'm usually only seeing them when they're coming or going. We split a bottle of wine last night, had some sirius conversation about Lupin's love life and then had ice-cream in Leicester Square. Very nice.

The thing that's been driving me crazy lately is everytime I get into a conversation with one of my friends is a certain Someone comes up, and whoever I'm talking with, they always say: "Go for it!" and I have to explain my reasons why not. They say "You are always promoting confessing your Luv! Go for it!" And then I have to say, oh yes, with my track record, hm, dead, gay and flat out not interested. Well done me. Naturally I can circumvent all my problems by fixating on certain dead actors but that...well that doesn't quite fix it, does it. Not the overarching problem. I have all of you, my lovely friends and family, but as I watch people pairing off all around me, I can't help but get worried. Impatient. Am I going to have to wait forever? Maybe. That's a scary idea. Well, I just won't think about it then. I've had quite enough romantic escapades for a while, thank you very much. That doesn't stop me from hoping though. It's the ultimate nature-vs-nurture problem: will all the influences finally convince me to write that long anguished email? or will the inherent introvert finally win the day?

another one for the dead and beautiful file

at least the sweet potatoes were good

The Menu:
Veggies, crackers and chees to start.
Turkey with sage and onion stuffing
Sweet potatoes with butter so thick with brown sugar you can stand a spoon up in it
Seven pounds of mashed potatoes
Cranberries with pomegranate and clementines
Fruit salad
Green bean salad with caramelized onions
Croissants
Apple pie with vanilla ice cream
Red wine

So then, Thanksgiving. I was really excited to cook Thanksgiving because I love cooking, and because my friend Mel has a sweet apartment and she let me completely take it over to make dinner for ten people, including my first turkey. (which was too dry, but that's okay, because we had Bisto) But of the five people I invited and messaged the night before saying "Hope to see you tomorrow!" only my roommate Alison came. And because I was busy supervising the turkey, we didn't have a chance to chat. She left early as well, so pretty soon it began to feel like I was cooking for Mel's friends. They were all very nice--especially the Aussie who asked me if I'd "heard" of "Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell" and then couldn't get a word in edgewise while I quoted my favourite pages for ten minutes--but they weren't MY friends. I was feeling very upset that the people I handpicked to come couldn't even bother to send me an email and say "hey, can't make it, but have fun!" I thought it would be a good chance to catch up with these people, since I hadn't seen them in awhile. And it got late, and I probably had more wine than I should have...I got home by midnight, but today I'm being cranky and unhelpful. Not good. I suspect the people I invited who didn't come (all of whom are Brits) don't realise how big of a deal that Thanksgiving is, especially to me, so that not coming, or not letting me know that they're not coming is acceptable, but it's not.

I hope everyone else had a more cheerful Turkey Day than I did. Viva le Puritans!Next year I'm making pumpkin pie. From scratch. And I'm not sharing. Mrrr.

Filed under "C" for "Consumerism"

I really need to stop reading biographies before I go to bed, because I was dreaming all last night that I was fighting the French off the coast of Egypt and now I'm really tired after having to reload cannon all night.

Anyway, so I was reading online about a pair of Americans who bought a Playstaion 3 and then proceeded to smash it to pieces in front of other people who were waiting in line to purchase their PSP3. Apparently the PSP3 is this year's must-need gaming console, and people have been lining up for it for about two years now. (In Japan, businessmen were paying homeless people to queue for them--not kidding)These two Americans said it was to study the reaction of the people waiting. They also bought a second PSP3 to auction off to pay for their shennanigans. I'm not really fussed about them smashing a gaming console: it must be nice to have that kind of money. Me, I'd rather take my $300 and light it on fire, or perhaps use it to, I don't know, educate children in Africa or something. You can see a video of this stunt on youtube.com.

I was also reading this week about a movement called "No Shopping Day" which is a response to the shopping frenzy that occurs in America the day after Thanksgiving. It was started by a Canadian artist, and has spread worldwide. People who are involved in this engage in harmless activities like handing out used shopping bags, or putting old sneakers in the shiny Nike display at the store. The point is to make people aware of their mindless consumerism and to have them stop and think about where their goods come from, the kind of impact they're having on the world and perhaps even why they feel the need to give gifts to all and sundry. I fully support these consumer-warriors, since mindless consuming is something I do not enjoy. I like shopping for presents, but I'm usually on vacation, thinking "oh, won't Grandma like this tablecloth...oh, I miss Grandma..." instead of "Grandma will like me more because I bought her something." National No-Shopping Day is the day after Thanksgiving in the US and this Saturday in Britain. (Britain, not having Thanksgiving, has no buffer between Halloween and Christmas, which means I've been suffering through Christmas commericals since the first of November.)

So, don't buy anything on Friday! (or Saturday!) Recycle something instead! We can all make a difference if we just work together! (and recycle your old bags!)

I wish I was home

In a different place
In a different time
Different people around me
I would like to know of that different world
And how different they find me

Here I am alone
Though it feels the same
I don't know where I'm going
I'm here on my own
And it's not a game
And a strange wind is blowing

I'm so amazed
At the things that I see here
Don't want to be afraid
Don't want to be afraid
I just don't want to be here
In my mind this is clear
What am I doing here?

I wish I was home

"Soon As I Get Home" from The Wiz

I think my biggest problem is I have been homesick for most of my adult life, but I haven't really got a home to look forward too. Every now and then I get to thinking about how I'm going to have to move in February--whether it's another van job here in London or back to the States--and it seems so overwhelming that I just want to stick my head in the sand. Oh, to live in a place for more than nine months! To be able to paint walls and hang curtains and put David in my kitchen and Turner in my living room! To have all my books around me again in one place!--really, it's like being separated from children. I have got to find a place where I can settle down for a few years at least. I can live a big exciting life in a big exciting city--as long as I can have my own space.

steal this quiz

Everyone enjoyed my last quiz so much I thought I'd do another one--only this one is one that I came up with. I call it "A Quiz for Creative People" and I encourage everyone to copy it and fill it out.

1.Describe your favourite weather using a noun
Hammock weather!

2.If you could be alive during any time period, which would you choose? Why?
Probably 1770-1800s. the fashions would suit me, I think, and it would have been a very exciting time with all the new ideas and countries springing up everywhere.

3.Your favourite line of poetry?
“Rose leaves, when the rose is dead are heaped for the beloved’s bed.”
(Shelley)

4.Book that you’ve read more than once:
Gone With the Wind: 6 times and counting

5.Worst traveling memory.
Probably arriving in rainy Glasgow with mom and dad during Bank Holiday and discovering that due to the Stones playing there is not a hotel room within a 150 mile radius.

6.What fictional character do you most resemble?
Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

7.Due to Bush not signing the Kyoto Treaty, the ice-caps have melted and the sea level has risen. What mountain range do you go live on?
The Appalachians, somewhere near Tennessee or Kentucky

8.If you had a daemon, what would it be? Name?
Probably something funny yet dignified, like a duck called Kismet.

9.Your favourite nail polish colour.
Wine-red.

10.How do you express yourself creatively that pisses off the neighbors?
I tend to sing or listen to classical music really loudly while I’m cooking.

11.Dogs or cats?
Dogs plural.

12.Did you think the Beast was less hot at the end of Beauty and the Beast?
Yes!

13.What’s your comfort food?
Mom’s meatloaf. If I have to cook, hotdogs with mustard and onions.

14.What song do you sing in the shower?
Either my friend’s song “Thing You Can’t Change,” “Worst Pies in London” or Weird Al Yankovic (good for breathing and diction)

15.Do you name your electronics? Do tell.
My computer is named Grane, and my iPod is named Napoleon.

16.Have you ever wanted to leave a show at intermission? What was it?
Yes. Titanic. GOD what a horrible idea for a musical.

17.Your favourite word?
“Luminous”

18.Do you wear lipstick? Where do you wear it?
Sometimes. When I was younger I used to have some purple stuff I wore as eye shadow. Now I just wear it to work.

19.What’s your favourite part about your favourite holiday?
Christmas carols.

20.What kind of music are you listening to right now?
Thomas Tallis again—it gives a very chilled out feel to the workday.

21.Have you ever streaked?
Between my bedroom and the shower every night, teehee.

22.What’s your favourite way to travel?
On a boat!

23.Have you ever gotten a scar from doing a load-in? Where and how?
Several. Most recent was The Representative—I scraped my leg moving the seats.

24.Have you ever seen the aurora? How did it make you feel?
I saw it when I was coming home late in 2000…it made me feel really small but vitally sacred.

25.Your favourite way to end a piece of writing:
Blackout.

very important movie part 2!

very important movie!!

Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street is currently being made into a movie (as I'm sure you're all well aware) and it is being directed by Tim Burton. I greeted this news with some trepidation, as I have seen Tim Burton's work and I hold nothing against it except that it looks like the work of Tim Burton. I reserve judgement. THEN I hear that the Demon Barber is going to be played by Johnny Depp. Again, I am very, very nervous, anxious even, BUT apparently Mr. Depp had to audition for Sondheim, and if the composer thinks he can do it, then, fine. Again, I will wait and see. Helena Bonham Carter is going to play Mrs. Lovett, and despite my best efforts, genuine panic is beginning to rise. Mr. Burton had a master-class at the London International Film Festival a few weeks ago and I had half a mind to go down there: "Ah, yes, this question isn't about directing? I was just wondering if you were had any plans for Sweeney Todd? Like having Michael Cerveris do it? Please?" Then today--finally--some good news. Sacha Baron Cohen has been announced as Signor Pirelli, a small but vital role. (vital as in the jugular! haha!) Finally, an announcement I can get excited about. Mr. Baron Cohen is best known as the gentleman who is being sued by frat boys who claimed they were coerced into being in his movie and irritating the prime minister of Khazakstan and I think he is one of the funniest men alive today. I haven't seen "Borat" yet, but I will this weekend, just to make sure that he's up to Sweeney snuff.

I don't know why I've taken such a hugely personal interest in the casting and making of this film, except that I want it to be good. REALLY good. I know that some studio has picked it up to cash in on the recent spate of musical movies being made, but, unlike "High School Musical"* Sweeney is a genuine chance to introduce the world at large to what a REAL musical should look, sound and taste like. Chris Columbus had the chance with RENT, but we won't go there today.

Support Sweeney! I will keep you updated as info becomes available.


*shoot me. shoot me now.

Quest...ionnnare

Mom was wondering why I didn't brag more on my MA, then I realised that I don't really talk about myself on my blog anymore. Probably because my life is stationary right now. So I copied a quiz my friend sent me from Myspace and here it is. I took out all the lame questions though. Enjoy!

3.Describe a typical Sunday for you:
Church, battling for groceries, lounging in front of the telly, big supper, long shower and early bed.

4. Any odd routines you follow when you wake up?
I curse out my alarm clock

5. If alcohol was banned worldwide, what would your reaction be?
Laugh—it didn’t work in ’29, it ain’t gonna work now.

6. When was the last time you cried?
After seeing “Bent” by myself.

7. Your CD collection is going to be repossessed. You may keep one.
Just don’t take my iPod.

8. Do you believe world peace is possible?
Ever the optimist, I believe it’s possible. Likely? No.

9. I'm a genie. Name your wish. (Money and Love cannot be granted).
Cillian Murphy. Or, alternately, peace in the middle east.
…fine, peace in the middle east, THEN Cillian Murphy

10. Name one thing about the OPPOSITE sex that automatically turns you off.
Smoking

11. Name one thing about the SAME sex that automatically turns you off.
Whaletail

12. Speaking of SAME sex, what do you think of Brokeback Mountain?
I just can’t quit it.

14. Where are you?
At work, on the reception desk, aka Nicki’s email checking time.

15. Leatherface is in the kitchen. Will you fight to victory, or hide?
Probably hide.

16. Do you feel that people underestimate you?
They underestimate my strengths and overestimate my weaknesses.

17. When you're in a bad mood, what will always put you in a better mood?
Music and journaling. Or, alternately, yelling at people.

18. Honestly, do you talk about MySpace in real life?
Not really. But I do go on and on about my blog.

19. Have you met someone online in person?
Yes.

21. Do you believe minimum wage should be raised?
YES.

22. If someone at a bar gives you "the look" how do you respond to it?
Pretend they’re not interested then flirt voraciously.

23. Desperation happens. Do you take advantage of desperate people?
No, I’m usually one of the desperate ones. sigh.

24. Pretend you're 15 deep in beers. Describe what you would be doing now?
I never get that far because I HATE throwing up.

25. Does everyone in your life know the real you?
Yup, I wear my emotions on my sleeve.

26. What is something you're afraid of?
Republicans.

27. Pretend you took a hit out of a bong. Describe what you would be doing now?
Probably hearing my dad’s voice going “tsk, tsk.”

28. Have you ever had a beer bong?
No.

29. You have two weeks to live. Would you tell anyone?
Depends on what I was dying from.

31. A band you thought was cool when you were 15:
Queen, and they STILL ROCK!

32. You have a nightmare, who's the first person you think to call?
I don’t call anyone.

33. Wanna have kids before you're 30?
Yes, but not by myself.

34. A memory from high school?:
Freshman year, being in the play opposite the guy I absolutely loved and getting to faint into his arms.

35. Ever had a crush on one of your friend's parents?:
Yeeees….

36. Naughtiest thing you've done at work:
Updated my blog.

37. Do you look more like your mom, or your dad?
Mom.

38. Something you've always wanted to learn how to do:
Play piano

40. Where you'd like to be in 10 years?
“And the Academy award goes to…Dr. Nicole Lemery for ‘Nelson!’”

41. Something you learned about life:
If you love someone, you should tell them. It might hurt when they turn you down, but the world needs as much love as possible.

42. What do you want for your birthday?
Cillian Murphy.

TV loves me too

I stayed up last night to watch a documentary called "Jihad: The Men and Ideas Behind the Just War" which was endlessly fascinating. And a little terrifying. It was comprised mostly of interviews of people who were friends with bin Laden and other al-Qaida leaders, as well as academics who would look into the camera and casually say things like "Basically, if al-Quaida gets a nuclear weapon, they're going to use it. They're not interested in deterring anyone." I'm starting to get a better grasp on how the current movement gained such an ugly, extremist slant. At one point they were describing the death of an Egyptian official, saying "al-Zaharwi (sp?) and his group had decided this official was no longer a Muslim, and therefore it was okay to kill him." Well, damn. If they can say that about someone who professes the Muslim faith, then clearly there is no hope for the rest of us. I can also see (tho not necessarily agree with) the train of thought that says we should stop terrorists there rather than let them get us here. Both sides of the issue! Ahh! Confusing! Add to that Rudy Giuliani is thinking about running for President, and if he does I MIGHT SERIOUSLY HAVE TO CONSIDER VOTING FOR HIM! Especially since I haven't heard anything from the blue camp other than "Hilary! Hilary! Hilary!" Saints preserve us.

I was also thinking that it's funny that the Secretary of War* was renamed the Secretary of Defence after WWII, since we seem to have declared a lot of wars since then. But then I realised that maybe we ARE defending ourselves, going overseas and stopping terrorism. By declaring wars and invading countries. Right? Right? Aww, this is hard. I want to go be a hermit.



*The first Secretary of War was General Henry Knox, originally a seller of London books, who brought captured guns from Fort Ticonderoga which were used to sucessfully kick the British out of Boston in 1776. Later, George Lucas would use the Dixon-Ticonderoga #2 pencil (mentioned in the Mel Brook's musical "The Producers) to write Star Wars. I'm such a geek.

I want to break free...

The Big Boss from New York is in the office today, so everyone is in a tizzy, trying to look productive.* The name of the company I work for is a hyphenated one, and the gentleman in from New York has the name after the hyphen. I was mildly curious about what the president of a major corporation looked like, and was disappointed when he proved to be a completely stereotypical businessman. If I owned a company this big, I would definitely go around wearing loud shirts and demanding oddly flavoured tea.

I stayed up watching “The Two Towers” last night, then I couldn’t get to sleep. It wasn’t a problem this morning because I definitely overslept yesterday, but now I’m starting to feel the drag. And I have a headache. Ah, Mondays. I spent lunchtime in the park near Lincoln’s Inn, watching a guy exercising his dog. I pretended I was a hugely famous producer and he was my intern, exercising my pedigree whippet because I was finishing my organic salad while waiting for a call from New York. I love my imagination.

*except for me

Whose blog is this anyway?!

I just discovered a song by a 16th century composer named Thomas Tallis on my computer. Can't remember where it came from, but it is the most beautiful thing I've heard all day.

I went and saw "The Prestige" yesterday, and oh my Lord, it is a good 'un. RUN to the theatre, do not walk, do not pass go, IT IS AMAZING. I haven't seen such a solidly good movie since, uh...well, not for a LONG time. I can't believe how good it was. It's been 24 hours and I'm still raving about it.

The show closed last night, so I'm suffering from post-show depression. Mrrr.

The good news is I'm making curry for dinner.

A decision has been made regarding: The Future. Haven't quite picked the road yet, but I've got the destination...and yes, it involves me coming home. I'm going to see how I feel after I come home for Christmas, whether that means I'll be back in the US in February or September, but I'm going to be back on home soil sooner rather than later.

Feels good.

God, this is gorgeous music.

I also got a new tea set. I have a teapot (green, for creativity) but the other day I saw a gorgeous tea set in a chartiy shop for £1.50: a teapot, three cups with saucers, cream pitcher and sugar bowl. For some reason it didn't come home with me right then, but I gushed about it to Alison so effusively that when I came home the next day it was sitting on the counter waiting for me. Now I just need to get some silver spoons and we can have a tea party, even if the china is so thin I'm going to have to make uptight friends because I'm afraid the people I know will break them.

And the shops are putting out the Christmas things already. When is Thanksgiving? I'm cooking again this year (if you want to come, let me know), but I've got to get over to St. Martin's to pick up some Christmas cards and also a booklet of their Christmas music schedule. I wonder if I'll be able to hear the Britten again this year, I like that music.

It doesn't mean I'm going to be happy about leaving. I'm trying not to think about all the things I will miss... I won't think of that right now.

Damnit. It's too dark to see the keyboard.

A Sticker with Political Overtones

I was waiting for the bus last night when I noticed a sticker that someone had stuck onto the bus-stop. It looked like normal graffiti, until I read the message: “BRING SHARI’AH TO BRITAIN.” Helpfully, around the edges it said “An end to pornography. An end to violence. An end to alcohol-related problems. An end to the exploitation of women.” Etc. It was this last that put my ears back—I don’t think the system currently in place is perfect by a long shot, but the only it’s not is because women let themselves be exploited. I pulled the sticker off the window because, honestly, it made me a little angry, and I found it a little chilling. I feel as though the British government has tried very hard to extend a friendly hand to the Muslim community: they recently celebrated the end of Ramadan in Trafalgar Square, and MPs are angering constituents everywhere by renaming Christmas festivities “Winter Celebrations” but messages like that continue to appear.

I do not understand this radical religion.

I have had it explained to me several times, by people smarter than me: “Some Muslims believe that they must—MUST—force their religion on people.” It is a simple enough concept, but my brain just refuses to contemplate it. It’s as if there is a very stupid person living inside me going “Hang on. So, my options are be forced into a burka or be killed for my own honour? Wait. Why can’t we live and let live?” And then I have to have it explained again: because they want to spread their religion by any means necessary. And I don’t understand. I’m not going to clarify the situation by saying “this is a very small, vocal part of the Muslim community, most Muslims are content to worship in peace” because I know everyone knows that. I’m just very confused by the one percent or so of Muslims who aren’t content to worship in peace and who are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve their ends. It’s all very bewildering. Especially when, in the course of one bus ride, I can see C of E church ladies with their plaid shopping baskets, Jewish men dressed sombrely in black hats and full beards, Indian teenagers in saris and Turkish men unloading Polish food into a grocery store advertising itself as “Continental.” I just don’t understand.

fun pictures!

I feel like I've been too serious lately, so here are some random pictures from the ol' desktop. Enjoy!

Christmas Comes Early

One of the actors on "Dogfight" asked me if Americans were as excited about foreign elections, because "I feel as though WE'RE having midterms!" Alas, no. But because of this close scrutiny, I've been able to keep up on what is going on back in the US of A, and I am very happy! The Democrats have taken back the House of Representatives! Whooooo! Although, it is a mixed blessing: I feel like I did when I first received news of the Battle of Trafalgar: Britain Victorious but Nelson is Dead! Only this time the Dems are victorious, but a couple of referendums in Wisconsin passed, alas, alas. Namely, the one defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman and one indicating to lawmakers that the good citizens of Wisconsin are actually in favour of the death penalty. Drrr. I think it's just that word "marriage" which I think is unfair: I'm going to campaign for civil unions between men and women. If most people consider marriage a religious institution, then what if you aren't religious? Or if you have an interfaith marriage? What's wrong with "united we stand?!" Am I the only one who sees the word "marriage" and hears "Mawwage!" from "Princess Bride| every time?!

And don't even get me started on the death penalty: anyone else seen "The Green Mile?"

But the voting American Public aren't the only ones giving me presents today. Last night I got an email from Mom saying that they had receieved my results and I passed! So now I am OFFICIALLY Nicole M. Lemery, MA. I love it. I'm going to order stationery for the express purpose of embossing "MA" after my name. It looks so good. I think the only thing that would look better is "Nicole M. Lemery, PhD."

stomachy problems

It suddenly occurs to me that I have been eating nothing but crap for the past week. I think my problem lies mainly in the aforementioned grocery-shopping agony. When I was going to school, I could go on a weekday morning, in the afternoon, whenever I needed to. And I had piles of time to cook. Now I HAVE to go on the weekends, or after work, when everyone else on God's green creation is there (with their children!) and they are all in my way. It is so stressful. So I have come up with a neat solution, namely, to eat takeaway all the time. Takeaway, for my American friends, is not McDonalds or Subway, those oh-so-healthy staples of a Point load-in, but local shops that involve soggy food and low hygeine standards. So I had a brat on Saturday, an English breakfast and pizza on Sunday, then today I had a chicken sandwich and a shish kebab from a Turkish place across from the Arcola. I'm not going back there though--the shish kebab was very good, but the man behind the counter skewered lamb meat onto kebabs, wrapped up someone's sandwich, and made change ALL WITHOUT WASHING HIS HANDS. The guy who served me at least had clean hands, but I only managed to eat about half my shish, which was approximately the size of a baseball bat. (Note to British friends: a baseball bat is like a cricket bat, only longer and rounder, which is the way God intended them to be.) Where was I? Oh, right, handing in my vegetarian card in shame. I don't know what happened--I think because I didn't eat for three days last week my mind is saying "whee! Make up for lost calories!" while my digestive system is saying "You're going to pay for that." What I want, basically, is for this bloody country to invent some decent salad dressing that doesn't taste like runny cardboard so I can make a SALAD and take it to work--we have three half used up bottles of dressing in the fridge, all of which taste so terrible that none of us have the stamina to finish them off. I like cooking, and I don't know how I went from someone who could start off with a handful of vegetables and end up with dinner to someone who can barely drag herself out of the kebab shop. I begin to see why Britain's government is so worried about the declining health of it's nation. A pile of salad on a kebab does not a healthy meal make. I'm going to brave the store again tomorrow, but please, please, please, someone put a bottle of Kraft ranch dressing in the mail for me, I will love you forever.

I'm also very excited because tomorrow is Election Day. Yay! I'm going to sit up after the show and watch returns with a bowl of popcorn. Low-fat, of course.

"Dogfight" be at the Arcola from now until Saturday. It starts at 8:15--it's pay what you can tomorrow, then £12/£8, but if you want to get a deal, then tell the box office staff "Bite me!" for £6. Please come if you can, it's a really great show. It's only about an hour long, so there's plenty of time to go out afterward.

He's a very nice prince

I'm taking next week off to help out with a friend's show. Yay! today was the load in. It was so nice to be in a freezing, dry, dusty, cramped theatre again. Ah. "Dogfight" runs from Monday until Saturday, if anyone in London wants to see it, it's at the Arcola. I'm just running the sound, but I'd rather be doing that than sitting in an office. blah.

Yesterday, I went down to Borough Market because my roommate told me they had brats. It's as good a reason as any to go to Borough Market, which is a trendy, crowded little market tucked under the arches at London Bridge. I didn't expect it to be so full, and at first I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to find the brats, but then--all of a sudden--there they were. Two and a half pounds for pure, unadalterated bliss on a bun with mustard and sauerkraut. Totally worth the walk. I would have written an ode to it in my journal, only I forgot a pen. So I read instead--a new book which I highly recommend called Ark Baby, about Darwinism. I should have gotten another brat, but it was very crowded after all. Now I've got something to look forward to next week.

He's a very nice prince

I'm taking next week off to help out with a friend's show. Yay! today was the load in. It was so nice to be in a freezing, dry, dusty, cramped theatre again. Ah. "Dogfight" runs from Monday until Saturday, if anyone in London wants to see it, it's at the Arcola. I'm just running the sound, but I'd rather be doing that than sitting in an office. blah.

Yesterday, I went down to Borough Market because my roommate told me they had brats. It's as good a reason as any to go to Borough Market, which is a trendy, crowded little market tucked under the arches at London Bridge. I didn't expect it to be so full, and at first I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to find the brats, but then--all of a sudden--there they were. Two and a half pounds for pure, unadalterated bliss on a bun with mustard and sauerkraut. Totally worth the walk. I would have written an ode to it in my journal, only I forgot a pen. So I read instead--a new book which I highly recommend called Ark Baby, about Darwinism. I should have gotten another brat, but it was very crowded after all. Now I've got something to look forward to next week.

fangirl alert!!!!

OMG, I read today in the Metro, morning standard of journalistic integrity, that CILLIAN MURPHY is going to be in the West End in a new play. AAAAAAAAAHHHH! In London! He's here rehearsing right now! We might be breathing the same Tube-soaked air!!! Murphy, who is best known for being the guy who is going to be playing Nelson in my movie as soon as I write it, is currently reigning as my favourite actor. I don't even know what the play is about. I don't care. All I care about is it's going to be in a theatre with a stage door where one might potentially stand in painful excitement and embarass oneself so thouroughly that the only option remaining is to move to Antartica and never answer the door again. Ever.

Meanwhile, I hear that John Kerry is botching jokes in America. Apparently he was addressing a group of students and he said, "You know what happens when you don't have access to education? You end up in Iraq!" thereby implying that the soldiers serving overseas are idiots who couldn't figure out how to avoid being conscripted into the army. According to his spokesperson, what Kerry meant to say was "Do you know what happens when you don't have good education? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq. Just ask President Bush!" thereby implying that Bush is the idiot. Which is true. But now I'm mad at Kerry because a) he sounds like a jerk, and b) he can't crack a joke properly. And he won't apologise for it either. I've been watching the news about the mid-term elections like it's the World Cup. I can't wait to see who wins. Rah rah, go Dems go!