I'm updating both of my blogs at once: does this mean that somewhere the time-space continuum has warped and black holes are popping into existence as we speak?
So I've gotten into the habit of reading blogs about women who are losing weight: That's right, some blogs actually have a point of purpose, whether the authors are losing weight or having babies or fighting The Man, they'll blog about things from that perspective. Instead of me, where the only thing all my posts have in common is, well, Me. Ha. Anyway, I read blogs about women who are trying to lose weight, and I remember how hard it was for me to change my attitude about how much I weighed and I'm really proud of some of the ladies I read. I started thinking a couple years ago "well, if i was going to be skinny, I'd be skinny by now, but I'm not, so I guess I'll just be okay with me. All of me." That attitude shift was accompanied by a forty-pound weightloss, courtesy of London, so I'm sure that had something to do with it. I'm still big according to everyone on the planet, but not as big, and I'm healthier. And I'm happy to be this way. And if I ever get down under two hundred pounds I'm having a party, but, eh, it'll happen or it won't.
But I can't focus on it constantly. I can't make weightloss the sole goal of my life, because, unlike quitting smoking or drugs, you can't quit eating. (well, you can. But then this would be a totally different type of blog) Also--with my attention span I have a hard time finishing ANYTHING I start and dieting is BORING. I try to do yoga every day now that I have a mat, but I also try to write every day. I try not to eat the entire bag of cookies when I need dessert, but I have to have cookies or else all I will think about is cookies. And, cookies. And--damnit. See? But I totally respect women who are working on weightloss and who need to write about it and support their goals 100%. We have so much crap shoved in our faces about what is beautiful and what we should be doing with our diets or our lives that getting past that and saying "I am doing this for ME ME ME" is half the battle.
For me, it's getting down to a lower weight so I can finally get that back tattoo I've been dreaming of. For some people it's wedding dresses. But in the meantime--life goes on. And I want to live in a world...where there's tiramisu.
Meanwhile, more Mika to love. I am going to get his album. How can you not love this--fat acceptance AND people dancing through the streets of London!?