Friday, October 26, 2007

the greene eyed monster

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm jealous. Lately everytime I get an email from a friend all I hear is the good news about projects they're working on, or trips they're planning, and I go all green-eyed, thinking about how I'm here, bored and not doing anything near what I'd hoped to be doing. Oh, it's easy to say that I'm just getting my feet under me or that this year is a "rebuilding year" but I know people who are happily employed in their field or at least using their degrees. And I'm proud of y'all, obviously you've worked at whatever it is harder than me and you deserve your success and I'm proud of everyone. And jealous. Ooooo, ragingly envious.

I hate that I can't seem to get any momentum going. Everytime I do a show I end up working for awhile, then I can't get back into it. And I have no idea how to do this professional playwright thingy. Somehow, just taking a jump and bumbling into it--which is how I normally do things--doesn't seem to work here. Somehow people seem to think, at my age I should know what I'm doing.

Yeah, that makes two of us.

I'm so happy that everyone is successful and enjoying reaping the fruits of their labors. I just wish that I could figure out how I could it as well.


Premiere girl said...

So, the fact that someone is working in the field he/she has studied does not necessarily mean the enjoy it. And of course not that they have worked harder than someone else..there are so many other factors and luck is one of them. So, don't feel disappointed and start working on that Nelson movie-Cillian Murphy won't be gorgeously handsome forever and I need something to spend my afternoons on here in Greece.
Miss you a lot

Laura said...

Hey, if I'd known you were feeling that way when we spoke i would have talked about it. First of all cancel all that crap about those who work harder succeed. We know that isn't always true. Remember how jealous I was of you when you got accepted into grad school and I graduated and worked at a video store? Maybe not, but we all have our ups and downs. I like what I'm doing now, but is it hard, Hell yes? Do I know what I'll be doing two years from now as far as Using my Degree? No way! Hang in there. You're doing fine.