Alison and I fell ill last night with some random superbug that had me in bed at 7 pm marveling at the delicate shade of blue my fingers had turned. Apparently all the blood in my body was needed to combat whatever was attempting to throw my stomach into reverse. I felt better this morning, but only after I had lain awake half the night, alternately wondering if I was ever going to get feeling in my toes again and casting a modern version of "Gone With the Wind."
I'm beginning to start to think about possibly regretting staying on in London. Not because I don't want to stage manage again at the Fin, but because of one simple fact: Money. More specifically, I'm running out of it. It costs me thirty six quid a week for a travelcard, as opposed to fifteen when I was a student (I know, I know--it's a rip off, you should see the papers here) which is my major expenditure, now that I have my cocaine habit under control. I'm just worried that after I get my own apartment, and a car, and a cellphone and a dog, I won't have any money left over for...but then again, what am I saving up for? It's not like I'm going back to school, or even traveling anymore. (where would I go?! Canada?! hah!) I guess it's time to be a grown up and start paying back some bills. I am fortunate, all the debt I'm carrying is student loans and not crazy-interest credit cards. I just wish that I didn't suffer a minor heart-attack everytime I looked at my bank statement.
But, that's really all. Nothing much else going on. I'm flying to Paris tomorrow, and even THAT I'm feeling guilty about: it's hella money, not even counting the carbon emissions, and all the justification for "when am I going to get a chance to go again?!" doesn't make me feel better. Hopefully I'll feel different when I'm on the plane. I suspect that all these money worries are more related to the fact that I've just paid my last month's rent here and I'm trying to live off of four hundred pounds for the next seven weeks. Eminiently possible--but not with such high tastes. Nelson watches notwithstanding.