Wednesday, January 31, 2007

"And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore!"

Alison is gone. She's GONE. Out the door three minutes ago and in about 12 hours she'll be back in New York. I don't say "home" because three minutes ago she WAS home and now she's GONE.

And I am very upset. I feel sort of like a puppy watching its owners walk away through the chain link of a shelter fence.

I hate this! I hate watching her leave--the worst part is knowing I'll be doing the same thing in seven weeks time, only there won' be anyone to say good bye to me. I'll leave the same way I came in: making no noise and creating no mark. Good bye and good luck and get out. Only to go to the US and to what? Nothing. Friends scattered across the globe by the winds of chance, held together through tremulous internet connections and lacksadasical postings. I get to start all over again. Whoopee. I'm sick of starting over. I'm sick of meeting new people and making new friends. So, fine, I'm not the edgey globe-trotter I once fancied myself, but then again I never thought I'd have to go through this world alone. I don't even have a dog.

Jesus.

I'm done now, I'm done feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to go pack for Paris--why am I complaining when one of my new friends here is letting me sleep on her floor for free? I'm not complaining, I'm just upset.

I miss Alison.

Maybe I'll go chew on some furniture...

3 comments:

Peter said...

Hey Nicki! Long time no talk. I saw that your heading to Paris, in the spring (kinda). I hope your trip goes well and you get to see all of the cool things they have to offer, although I think you and me would be looking for different things. I went on a trip last weekend, Me and Brenda went to GB, after I had a stomach flu thing Friday night. We made their for our usual 24 errandathon. Well, I truly hope you enjoy your last few weeks in London. I know I am still jelous you went after your dream and lived it. I will always be the one who says "wish I would've." Have a safe trip!

Samantha said...

Oh poor puppy! You know I have a big soft spot for those sad sad eyes....and come August I'll be in the same spot...

Chris said...

If you need help with the furniture chewing thing. I'll help.