Monday, October 02, 2006

let me be your disaster

A friend exhorted me last week to not let a steady paycheck go to my head and remember that theatre is my true calling. "Great!" I thought, "I'm going to SM a friend's show next week, and I have NO PROBLEM taking off work, so yessir, I've got it all figured out."

Except today when I went to the tech rehearsal, there were about a half-dozen people running around taking care of the lights and sound, and the show had gone on so long without an SM they didn't really need one. I was upset like "hey, wait a minute! I SAID I would do it! Wait for meeee!" But then I realised the real person I'm pissed off at is myself. I should have arranged my schedule better and committed more time to this project. Now there's no need for me, so I'm not going to be involved. I was talking to one of the actresses who was happily nattering on about "oh, yes, I work for six weeks, then do theatre for six weeks, and it works out well!" And I thought "Yes, that's what I want to do." Unfortunately, my first assignment coincided with my first out of school theatre project and I'm horrified to realise that work came first. Just because they're paying me. So now I can take care of rent and buy that nice suede coat, but working on an exciting festival of new short plays isn't worth my time because I can't afford a travelcard. I truly am useless. I hope they DO offer me a job in this huge corporation, just so I can take it and becoming a complete sellout.

4 comments:

Chris said...

Nicki-
You're not useless. Its hard to find a balence and quite frankly its hard in this buisness because its hard to find a gig that pays well enough to live. I belive that you are really good at this. Right now it just seems like your trying to find the balcence between theatre and paying the rent.

Peter said...

Hey Nicki,
Yeah, somebody named Chris is right. You need to pay the bills first and you can always find time to write and SM. You'll find the right balance, Brenda did when she moved out and you will, it just takes a little time to figure out what you need as far as money goes and how much time you need to spend righting (sic)( I think). So enjoy your job as a nobody doing mindless work, you can always work into your plays while daydreaming. Did you see the movie coming out from the director of Sunshine of a spotless mind or something. Now that guy lets his mind wander. Let yours too and all your dreams will come true:)

And having a job is not a sell-out, its smart business.

Later, Peter

Laura said...

Just don't ever tell me "I didn't sell out, I bought it" because that's worse. I remember at the time you were looking for a job you were looking for an apartment as well, which is a legitmate concern because it's kind of hard to produce magnificent works of art without shelter and it's kind of hard to shelter yourself without money to pay the rent. but now if you get hired on by this corporation for good you'll have the money you need to do theatre for free if you want because that's the theatre you want to do or money to see the theatre you want to support.

By the way, someone should tell your brother you only use (sic) in a quotation. And no one should talk to me about disasters for a while.

Sorry, I'm in a mood to pick on someone (your brother) right now. I'm sure he'll understand. After all, he has an older sister, right?

premiere girl said...

Hey hon,
I am writing to agreew with all the above. You are very young and very talented. You are a theatre person but you are also an independent woman, living in a big city, who needs to take care of herself so she needs to work. And the more disappointed you are with life and job and corporations, the better, angrier plays you'll write. And then, you'll thank them in your first Tony.
xxx