Monday, October 27, 2008

This is why I got the dog...

Smelling sweetly of aloe and oatmeal after his bath...chewing on his Nylabone in front of a roaring fire...curled up on his special beagle-sized pillow...mom looking on lovingly as she updates her blog....

Nevermind the fact that when he got out of his bath he went zooming around the house, at one point using the sofa as a springboard onto a sidetable from which he launched himself into the air before performing a flawless triple axel.

Too bad he didn't nail the landing. ARG. Bloody dog...


RIP orange pull toy...we were sad to hear of your demise by determined gnawing. You will be missed.

Kizzy was acting lethargic yesterday (ie not attempting to climb onto my head and lick my face off) and this morning when we got up he was digging at his ears and eyes, so I took him to the vet. He has a touch of pinkeye in one eye and the start of a yeast infection in his ears...dogs are prone to yeast infections, especially when they have floppy ears. And Kizzy's ears are oh-so-floppable. He was a good boy for the vet, except for the part where they tried to shove things (ie cotton balls, light scopes, medicines) into his ears. Oh, but guess what I get to do for the next two weeks, two times a day? Yay medicinal ointment! The vet recommended "lots of treats." Sure. Fine. At least he doesn't attempt to bite you, but he is small and wriggly.

In addition to dog-wrestling twice a day, I also have to work late this week to make up the three hours I missed this morning. That's okay though. I probably could have taken him in after work, but I would have spent all day worrying about him--and this way we've caught what ails him early. I had a terrifying moment when I thought about all the people who petted him this weekend on our Saturday stroll through the historical area. But the vet assures me that dog pinkeye is not conductive to humans. Well. I'll be taking it easy on the kisses (me) for a while. I'm just glad it was nothing more serious. Kizfiz is mah spechial boy.

Even when he's using the apartment as a racetrack.

Sunday, October 26, 2008


Reasons to go home: to see old friends finally tie the knot. Here they are, Mr. & Mrs. Gaboda at last. Aww...congratulations, I'm so happy for you!


Me and Baby Taylor, looking adorable in his tux...I nearly had to sign a waiver before Grandma would hand him over, but I assured her I'd had recent experience with newborns...


Mom and Dad at the helm of their new boat. I was in the prow...singing "Hearts of Oak" and generally enjoying the hell out of myself. The good thing about boating on a chilly day in October is you have the entire Wolf River to yourself, save for the fishermen. The bad thing is you've got to watch out for sudden squalls.


Reasons to go home part deux: Auntie Nicki with Lily and mom and dad. I never realised how much Peter and I looked alike, but there it is. Lily, of course, is already adept at posing for the camera...isn't she an ANGEL?!


I saved this picture as "zomg, baby!" Isn't she ADORABLE?!?!?!
(note the red nail polish...a remnant from the wedding. Yeah, that's the polish I forgot to take off before militia. Needless to say, they didn't have nailpolish in the eighteenth century. Especially not in the army. Ooops...)


I be rollin'...they be hatin'...
This is my new car. She's a 2003 Buick Regal: eat your heart out, Toyota Corolla. In keep with the A-B-C naming theme I started with the Argo and Boxer, I named her after my favourite movie, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Except that doesn't really fit, so I shortened it to Chi Chi, like the classy bingo-lovin', margarita drinkin' gal she is.


So that's it...I didn't take as many photographs as I thought I did, although there was often more than one camera present, so I'm sure I'm a few random shots I don't know about. I've never had a better time going home to visit. It was just awesome to be surrounded by loved ones for a week.

The week since had been long, but I'm hopefully adjusted to my schedule again. Last night a couple friends and I went to Busch Garden's Howl-O-Scream and I made it through six haunted mazes (screaming the entire way) and two major roller coasters. Granted, they were not the Gryffon, but I did do one of them IN THE DARK. AAAAAAHHH! It's been so long since I was at an amusement park that I almost forgot how much fun they are--especially once night fell and people started jumping out at you from behind bushes.

And I've also volunteered to help sew fur onto the Santa suits that CW rents out...the CDC uses the profits for charitable giving, so it's all for a good cause. Right now though, I'm more tempted to join the beagle in a nap than I am to fire up the Singer...

Friday, October 24, 2008

Fire at will

Loyal readers, I am so glad it's Friday. You have no idea. It's just been...a long week. I spent all day today working on my stays. They are coming along, but seven hours spent staring at anything is enough to drive you up the wall. Hopefully another couple of hours or so and they'll be ready for fitting...

The militia captain didn't even bother putting me on cannon today; instead I fell in with the boy's company--some of the fife & drum kids who are cleared to fire guns. I felt pretty dorky since I was a) the only woman and b) at least ten years older than anyone in the ranks. But we got the order to fire independently today, so for a few minutes I got to load and fire as quickly as I could. So. Much. Fun. And quite stress-relieving, even if I did have a couple of misfires. Nothing more disheartening than a quick "fssst" and no "bang!" Luckily my last shot cleared the musket...and I marched better than the guys in rank with me--keep in mind the fife & drummers start marching when they're about ten. Whoo.

I wanted to take a picture of my hand because it looked so cool covered in black powder, but I had to fish something out of Kizzy's mouth when I took him for a walk when I got home. I don't want to know what it was, but it necessitated lots of anti-bacterial handwashing. I can tell he's a little squirrelly tonight too. Well, he's been in his crate all day, fair play, but I'm exhausted. He's starting to bark more, which is worrying. Jumping, nipping, climbing on the furniture--okay, it's all annoying, but not a deal breaker. Barking on the other hand is verboten. Tomorrow we're going to go for a walk around the historical area. That's always a good time, especially when Shilling the magazine Cat intimidates him into running away.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Rising to the Challenge

This week I've been working on muslin mockups of a new type of jacket. Basically it's a set of different sizes, in a cheap fabric so the cutter/fitter can figure out any problems before hacking into the expensive stuff. The first one took me eight hours to put together (plus lots of tears) but after four of them I'm down to about three and a half.

Then today my supervisor took my hand and gently told me that my next project was going to be a set of stays. Stays, of course, being the undergarment of choice in the eighteenth century--our stays come from a pattern that was taken from an original set in the Victoria and Albert Museum. (the wiseass in me questions the patriotism of wearing English stays in revolutionary America, but I digress.) Stays are hard. They are bloody hard. They are angles and straight lines and exact measurements and turning corners on a dime and they will drive you mad. I cried. Attempted to stab myself with my seam ripper. But in the end--the stays stayed, and I'll let you know how they turn out.

I told my supervisor that if this was her idea of getting my confidence up by challenging me, then I was perfectly happy being despondent that I couldn't so much as gather a sleeve, but she just laughed and told me she had every confidence I could do it. Great. That makes me feel MUCH better.

So I was happy to get away for militia--only when I arrived I learned the program has changed again, and it's cannon only on Wednesdays and Fridays from now on. It takes six people to fire a cannon properly, although you can do it with five. I've never been trained on the cannon however--not on handling the charge, lintstocking, worming, sponging, picking or priming. But with a wicked glint in his eye, my captain told me that handling the charge was "easy" and left the poor befuddled searjeant to explain it to me. It is easy--basically when I'm ordered to, I take a cartridge out of the case, shout "Coming about!" then walk over to the wormer and hand it to him so he can load the gun. Then when the gun fires I shout "Gun fired!" in case anyone missed it. But--as with all walk on roles--I missed a cue and neglected to shout "Gun fired!" at one point, prompting my searjeant to yell at me in a historically pleasing fashion.

It's a new program. Lots of kinks to work out. As in the real military, the captain was the only one with any clue what was going on--and even then I'm not entirely sure he was certain, although of course I'd never question a superior officer. We did get to fire the cannons "as on the battlefield" which means as quickly as you can reload, resulting in a nice barrage of smoke and noise. I can see how cannons are the preferred weapon of choice among the CW militia. I'm just waiting for New Year's Eve when we get to fire muskets as quickly as we can reload.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Return to blogland...

I want to update properly this weekend with pictures and highlights, but in the meantime I thought I'd put up what I wrote in my journal last night. In addition to blogging every day, I also write a journal, which I usually keep private. But I thought last night's post was particularly fine. Enjoy.

"I'll probably regret not journaling everyday, but it's nice to have a week with no writing, not blog or journal. Vacation was great. It was over too quickly, and I feel like I spent all week running from one relative to another, but I had a good time. It was wonderful to see everyone. Really, just...

See, the problem with not writing for a week I use generalisations, words I use when I'm describing it to a coworker or a casual acquaintance: 'It was great. Wonderful to see everyone.; How to describe the utter joy I felt bombing through the middle of Wisconsin--leaves fluttering through the air, the smell of drying corn and cow patties in the air--the utter happiness of moving through an area that is totally familiar and completely home? Of waking up in my childhood bed with the warm snugness of a weeklong Saturday, all my '2nd tier' books (the ones I won't give up, but can't take with me just yet) all the familiar spines just within reach? Falling back into my old lifestyle, reaching for beer and turning down familiar streets, my accent picking up the familiar elongation. So easy.

Before when I could come home, it felt alien, like I was a foreigner. But this time I felt overwhelmingly welcomed and loved. Maybe it's because I'm so happy where I am in Wmsbrg I transport some of that light. Maybe it's because I've outgrown the petty jealousies of youth. The love you give is the love returned, and thats all I felt the entire week there."

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I'm back

--The wedding was beautiful, and it was lovely to catch up with everyone.

--Lily is a perfect specimen of gorgeous babyhood.

--I loved spending time with my family and I was really depressed when I had to come back.

--But right now...I'm going to bed.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

happy dance

My flight leaves in nine hours!!! Whee! I can't believe I made it through this week without climbing the walls.

I am so excited to be going home. I need a bit of a vacation. Kizfiz is at doggy camp this week--I worried that he would miss me, but he shot through the gate with nary a backward glance. Thanks pooch. Love ya too.

Work is fine, everything is great, but it is going to be fabulous to not be doing anything for a couple days.

Except, ya know, playing with my niece. (also the furry ones)

And a wedding. Looking forward to that as well. I'm so excited I just spent an hour dying my hair, plucking my eyebrows, loofah-ing my backside and trying to remember how to put on foundation. Arg. Twentieth century beauty is complicated.

But! I am so happy and proud of Sarah and Travis, and happy to be a part of their big day. I can't wait to see everyone and celebrate with much dancing!!!

Dancing, dancing, dancing with the happy! Can't wait to see everyone and finally meet this "Lily" person who, I hear, is perfection incarnate.

Happy dance!

NLD is on vacation--see you when I get back!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Joining the Revolution

Broadsheet has a brief article about how the FDA has put a stop to false advertising by Bayer about their birth control pills, Yaz. Go read it, then come back here.

I thought this article was interesting and relevant, because for a long time I've resisted going on birth control. Basically, there is no need for me to. (let me repeat that for parental units and other interested parties: there is NO NEED for me too.) For years I've suffered through bad periods, with every symptom in the textbook, and I've always managed to get through somehow, usually with the help of Midol and beer. But the last cycle I had (cf: "My Friends, I am Dying") was so bad, so unimaginably horrible, that I decided I cannot go through that again. I am literally scared of my own body's pain. (Note to new mothers: feel free to share labor and pregnancy stories. I will be more than happy to reciprocate with a description of how I thought my heart was going to stop in my chest. Cheers.) So I'm going on the Pill. Yaz, actually, although I read the fine print that Bayer neglects to cover in their spiffy ads.

When I walked out of the pharmacy brandishing my brand new blister pack of pills, I did feel quite liberated, although not liberated enough to head down to the local pub and take my pick of the studly undergrads. Part of me feels sad though--I don't want to be one of those women who's on the pill for convenience's sake, and to clear up acne. This is serious medication, with a serious purpose, and I don't take it for granted. I'm damme lucky that I live in a place where I can get birth control for something as frivolous as cramps. But it also feels like a rite of passage--most of the women I know are on the Pill, encouraging me to join them as if it were another milestone in a woman's life. Not just the women I know, but all the women who've ever been on it, back and back, women taking charge of their reproductive abilities.

Me, I'm just hoping that whatever it is that is making me have horrible cramps and ridiculously long cycles (forty days plus, but that's probably due to stress and a new roommate) will be discovered and soon so I can go back to being au natural. I'd rather treat slight cramps with beer than throw the baby out with the bathwater (or not) and be on pills for the rest of my life.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Playing dress up

Little secret: like a cross-dressing husband, I love to play dress up in secret, swanning about my room wearing frou-frou skirts and scarves and singing along with old Disney movies. Usually after a shower I'll throw on some of my favourite ensembles, which means I'm usually topped off with a towel.

Well, last night I had a real reason to dress up: I got my story cleared, so starting after I come back from vacation I'll be put on the schedule as a story teller. As I jokingly told the director, I guess this means I have to stop speaking discriminatingly against actors. Since I am one now. Each tour gets three stories: the storytellers are stationed at three different houses, and the tours move from house to house. The tour guides are charged with checking tickets and keeping the atmosphere spooky. The house attendants are tasked with warning the storyteller and making sure two groups don't interrupt each other. And the storytellers have the job of scaring the pants off the guests. I'm sincerely worried that I'll be the one scared out of my pants (petticoat), since all the houses that I'll be performing in are actually haunted. I've heard stories--firsthand stories--about mysterious footsteps, shades coming down the stairs and a baby crying. Which would be cool, considering my story, but probably confusing to the audience as I'm booking it out the door in terror: "hey, aren't WE supposed to be scared?"

My costume consists of a shift, stays, pocket, stockings, shoes, brocade jacket, petticoat and cap. With a wool under-petticoat and a cloak for when it gets cold out. Can't have non-period coats over period clothes. I tried on my clothes last night and couldn't quite get the jacket hooked closed. I brought them to work to have the designer look at my outfit. According to her, my stays weren't cinched tight enough. I managed to bleat "but Linda, I need to breathe!" and she just laughed sadistically and pulled harder. I can't really move my arms, but who needs to gesture anyway? Like Norma Desmond, I can say anything I want to with my eyes. "Help me!" comes to mind...

I will try to post a picture soon, but my computer is well and truly dead. Kizmet ate my computer charger, and then he ate my friend's computer charger, so now we're both SOL. Until then, I'm borrowing internet from my roommates...

Saturday, October 04, 2008

and I shall marry the miller's son...

I've been really busy this week. Working full time--my first jaunt into women's clothes did not turn out well, as I accidentally stitched a pair of sleeves sideways onto a shift--and then "rehearsing" in the evenings so I can get my story cleared. Preparing to come home: in addition to taking care of getting Kizzy boarded, there's all the wedding details to worry about. Pressies, haircut for me, stitching my dress back up where I took it in an inch and a half. Then helping out friends: babysitting again, helping Other Nicole move into her brand spankin' new fabulous townhouse. And when I get a few moments, cuddling with mah beagle. Who is in deep trouble for chewing up another computer cord. Arg.

I'm not super-stressed, just tired. Ready to go home for some pettings and some cheese curds, to be with the family. I miss having family around me.

We are encouraged, as young women, to picture our weddings, our husbands, our children, our houses, even if when they happen they aren't exactly what you had in mind. Still, I am constantly reassured "it will happen."

But maybe it won't. No, really, stop doing the reassuring hand gesture and the understanding half-smile. Seriously. Maybe I'll never get married. It happens all the time. Maybe I'll never have kids. Maybe that won't be a bad thing. Maybe I'll never own my own house--have you seen the housing crisis lately? Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I'll live in Williamsburg and become one of the crazy interpreters who's been here for so long they start looking like part of the furniture. And maybe I'll contradict myself in a year's time and marry the Prince of Wales.

In the meanwhile...I'm just really looking forward to going home.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

That was the moment when I knew...

In “Good Omens” there’s an adorable little scene where one of the characters has to explain why his car is named Dick Turpin, causing him great embarassment—“because it’s always holding up traffic.” That’s sort of how I felt today when I was chatting with a black lab’s cute grad-student owner who queried how I named Kizzy. “Well,” I said, blushing ferociously, “have you ever heard of Admiral Horatio Nelson…”

Tomorrow all hell is going to break loose, loyal readers, and I’m not looking forward to it. The powers that be have decided that once every six months, the two tailoring teams will swap genders, meaning tomorrow the men’s team (including me) will become the woman’s team. Instead of shirts, weskits and breeches it'll be shifts, petticoats and jackets. I’m okay with it—I’m still learning the role, so even if I stayed on the men’s team, I’d be asking a lot of questions. Making women’s clothes will be differently challenging. The thing I’m most upset about is the fact that, well, there are no breeches or regimentals on the women’s team, so I won’t get to touch so much as a kneeband, not a single bloody epaulet, for the next six months. Sigh.

But a lot of the tailors—well, all right, just about everyone else—is upset about this change. The two teams were well-chosen when it came to assigning mens-vs-women’s clothes, and the switch isn’t making anyone happy. There’s nothing anyone can do about it except deal, but that hasn’t stopped a lot of rudeness going around—“I hate men’s clothes!” “I hate women’s clothes!” Yes, well, that’s charming, but it’s not going to change anything.

It’s interesting how awkward I feel whenever I put on my women’s clothes. I’ve been rehearsing in my petticoat and shoes, to get the feel for them, and I feel really… dorky. My roommate can swan about in her period clothes looking like she’s just stepped out of an American Girls book (the early ones, before they were sold to Mattel), but I look like I’m wearing a costume, and I walk like I haven’t worn a skirt in years. Oh, wait, I haven’t. Much less heels. On the other hand, I love wearing breeches. I would wear them all day, every day if I could. They are that comfortable, and I love showing off my shapely leg. Arg. I’m going to have to take lessons about how to be a lady again…I’m guessing lesson one would be “don’t hike up your skirts to your thighs to give your mosquito bites a good scratching.” At least no one can deny I’ve got the period leg hair for it…

Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Charnal Ship

As a storyteller for the evening programs, I take the bare bones of a tale and pad it out into a proper story. Then I present it to the director of evening programs, and he gives feedback, and we work on it until my story is "cleared"--then I'm put into the schedule for evening rotation. I haven't been cleared yet, but I'm working on my story today, and I thought my loyal readers would like to read it. (yes, I recycled an old character, but he's such a good one...)

Enjoy!

THE CHARNAL SHIP
adapted by NM Lemery

It is true I married somewhat late in life. I had almost given up hope of ever finding a husband, when I met Mr. Clarke. It happened thusly: One day, while I was walking home from church with my six brothers, Mr. Clarke fell in alongside me and struck up a conversation about some land he had recently purchased in Virginia. This continued for many weeks, while he described in detail the school he wished to build, where pupils could work the land in exchange for their tuition. A splendid plan, I thought, and I told him so. He blushed and said—“Elizabeth, you’ve heard all about my plans, but what it’s really lacking is a wife. So what d’you say? Will you come to Virginia with me and make the experiment?”

Well! I tell you, for a man to propose an experiment where a marriage proposal is expected is very bold, but I confess that is the moment when I fell most deeply in love with my Mr. Clarke, and I accepted—both him and his experiment. We were married a month later, in the presence of my six brothers, and there was never a happier woman than I.

When we had been married for a month and some days, Mr. Clarke took his leave of me to sail to Virginia, to begin building his great scholastic experiment, promising to send for me—“as soon as I get a house built to suit you.” He wrote me faithfully nearly every day, and I lived through those letters, reading about the people and climates of Virginia, about the buildings he was constructing. I only wished to be by my husband’s side, to help him build our new lives together. I imagined myself inside these letters, safe in our new house in Virginia, surrounded with the family I so longed for. At last the long-awaited letter arrived: “The house is finished to my satisfaction, Liza, come home to me.”

I booked passage on a ship the very next day. As it happened, a merchant trader, the Windsong, was due west from Portsmouth in a few week’s time. Her captain, Andrew Hollee, was a youngish man, but very well respected by his crew and his business partners. I made the necessary arrangements, and embarked on a blustery day in early March.

If you have never been aboard a ship, you cannot imagine it. Everything is crammed together, folded and stacked to take up the least amount of room possible, for space is at a premium on a ship. The ship itself feels like a live being—the timbers under your feet constantly roll with the waves. The hull and masts creak in the wind, the rigging and sails groan with the strain. The first night I lay in my bunk listening to the sounds thinking I should go mad from them, but after the course of a few days they became familiar and dear to me. The crew was a diverse group of men from all over England, united only in their distrust of me. I had heard that some mariners considered it ill luck to have a woman on board, and so I took it upon myself to lay in a good supply of “trinkets” so that I might “make friends with the natives.” Accordingly I brought along numerous small cakes, and some traveling Bibles, which I distributed with goodwill. I never saw the Bibles again, though, I was assured by Captain Hollee that the crew had taken to reading them most assiduously before they turned in to their hammocks for the evening. After that we got along splendidly.

Yes, the voyage looked to be a rather unremarkable one. We cut through a stormy grey Atlantic, bound westward toward the setting sun day after day. Then one day, about two weeks out, I awoke to notice the air had grown considerably colder. I wrapped myself in my warmest clothes and came on deck. What I saw chilled me even more thoroughly than the wind had—in the night we had approached a field of icebergs. I cannot begin to attempt to describe them. They are so utterly massive, so devoid of life, yet so silent and terrifying, moving through the water without aim or intention, but capable of sinking a ship or crushing her. I wrapped my cloak more tightly around myself as Captain Hollee approached me. He touched his hat. “Mrs. Clarke, I’m afraid that we will be in for a bit of weather tonight—but you must trust me to bring you through safely.” I assured him I did so, but the sight of those icebergs terrified me. The smallest was easily five times the size of the Windsong, and an unexpected breeze could have dashed her upon that ice as if she were running aground upon the hardest rock.

The wind and the waves began to pick up, tossing the Windsong from side to side. The familiar comforting sounds of the ship began to pick up, moving into new territory that froze the blood in my veins. The rigging no longer sang, it screamed under the wind, the sails were like uncontrollable birds that flapped in the wind. The ship’s crew ran to and fro in an orderly fashion, bringing in the sails, tying down the items on deck, and generally preparing for the storm. I thought the worse had hit, but at nightfall—the storm increased.

Now, friends, you may have seen such a storm on land, but to ride through one on a ship, you cannot imagine. The very deck beneath your feet heaves and rolls so that you must cling on to something or you will be tossed overboard, into the churning waves. The waves roll over the deck so that every minute you are convinced you are swamped, only to have the ship rise again. The masts sway like the trees of the forest they once were.

I secured myself in my tiny cabin, falling to my knees and clinging to my bunk, gasping every prayer I had ever learned, seeking to God to save us. I was in mortal terror, thinking about the giant floes of ice that surrounded us, imagining each creak of the ship to be the sound that signaled her imminent destruction. The noise was unbelieveable. The friendly sounds of the ship’s timbers groaned and creaked like a dying creature. The wind pushed through the rigging like a banshee, the shouts of the crew sounded like the desperate cries of haunted souls. I thought I was going mad from the cacophony. Animal cries could be heard upon the wind, mad singing, and then—strangest of all—I heard a baby’s cry rising loud and clear above the din. It was so clear that I found myself rising to my feet, determined to find the source, before I remembered myself. It was only a trick of the wind, but oh how real it seemed…

Sheer exhaustion finally took me to sleep. I awoke to find myself huddled on the floor of my cabin, still dressed in my warmest clothes, clutching my blankets. The ship was still. I flew up to the deck to see what had happened. A sorry sight greeted my eyes—one of the masts had been swept away, and the ship’s crew was engaged in replacing it with a jury-rig, while others were sweeping debris or repairing the canvas on the remaining mast. They all looked exhausted, haunted, as I knew I myself must look. Captain Hollee himself was at the helm, grim and determined. And all around us were the silent icebergs, like sentinels on the side of a Pharoh’s tomb, waiting for their chance to send us to the bottom of the ocean.

Captain Hollee ordered one of the boats lowered, and several of the ship’s crew went into it and began to pull us through the field. It felt like walking through a graveyard. We were surrounded by flat, blue-black water, out of which thrust the white, utterly silent mountains, like the tombs of the long-dead where the names have been eroded away. It was very cold, and very quiet, the quieitude only magnified by the tumult we had gone through the night before. So very cold, and so very quiet. We moved past the silent mountains, hardly daring to breath, as though any noise would bring them down upon us.

Then suddenly, a black trail leading through the white jags, beyond which was the open sea and safety. Cheers greeted this sight, and the men in the boat pulled harder. We moved forward at a snail’s pace, eager to be free of this haunted place, when suddenly--we spied another ship! A ship which had not survived the storm, alas, but was wrecked upon one of the treacherous icebergs. Her masts and rigging were in sad disarray. There was not a soul in sight. Captain Hollee halloe’d them several times, but there was no reply. “I will go aboard,” he said “it is clear they are in need of whatever assistance we can give.”

At that moment I thought of the baby’s cry I had heard the night before—perhaps the wind had carried that cry from a child on board this wrecked ship! “Captain Hollee!” I said “I wish to go with you!” And I quickly explained what I had heard. “If there is a child on board that ship—or another woman—they will be grateful for the presence of another female.” Captain Hollee protested most strongly, but I insisted. I had survived the terrible storm, and I felt alive and invincible and determined.

We made the only noise that day, the oars cutting through the black water, the heavy breathing of the straining mariners. And the occasional halloo from Captain Hollee, which was never returned. When we came alongside that ship, Captain Hollee insisted on going first. He was followed by two of his sailors, and then I was handed up. The deck presented a strange sight—even I, who was only recently indoctrinated into that orderly world of the sea—could see that the deck was in total disarray. It was as if no attempt had been made to put to rights what the storm had torn asunder. Ropes and sails hung where they had fallen, barrels and boxes lay broken upon the deck. And all around us…that eerie silence.

We began to grow uneasy, and a pistol or two appeared. Captain Hollee bade me stay where I was, and advanced towards the captain’s cabin. The other sailors fanned out along the deck, searching for signs of life. The silence was so deafening I wanted to sing to break the tension—and then I heard it again. A baby’s cry. Fainter now than it had been when it first came to me in the storm, but there was no doubt in my mind that it came from belowdecks. I moved towards the hatchway, unobserved by any of the crew, and went down a flight of stairs.

Fainter and fainter that cry grew until it disappeared all together, but not before I could see where it came from. The air was so cold—that poor child, I thought, as I moved down the tiny hallway—to have survived such a storm and now this coldness! Something fearful must have happened to its mother, to leave it in such a dire situation. I pushed open the door to the cabin—a cabin not unlike my own aboard the Windsong--

There was a woman there, lying in a bunk that was not unlike my own aboard the Windsong. She was wearing a white shift and was quite asleep. Lying in the crook of her arm was the baby I had heard, one tiny hand clutching at a strand of her brown hair. Mother and baby were fast asleep, holding onto each other. My heart was softened at the sight of such a sweet image. But it was too cold by far for them in that room. It was clear that they were ill prepared for such cold weather—they must come onto the Windsong, where there would be warm food and blankets for them. I went forward to wake the woman and her exhausted child, to tell them that their delivery was at hand.

But when I touched her hand, I instantly knew something was wrong. It was cold, too cold by far for a living person…and that’s when I noticed the sunken attitude about her cheeks, her closed eyes. And the child as well, no baby ever lay so still in its mother’s arms. They were dead—dead! The baby—the slightest opening of an lid revealed a glitter of an eye, as though the tiny corpse were playing a joke on me and wanted to see my reaction. Dead in each other’s arms, the mother clinging to her baby in death as she must have in life. The brown curl which the baby clutched a cadaver’s curl, no comfort to be found there.

I screamed. I screamed and ran out of the room, back up the hallway. There were more shouts to greet me—the Windsong’s crew had discovered similar bodies in other places among the ship. “The ship’s boy is frozen, standing at the bottom of the stair!” I heard one cry, while another described the ship’s crew frozen in their hammocks, hands still clutching onto the mouldering canvas. We flooded onto the deck in a terror—my heart was pounding my chest worse than it had the night before. We had not stumbled onto a ship in need of rescue, but into a tomb, a frozen tomb, afloat in a frozen world.

Captain Hollee came out of the great cabin, and we quickly got into the boat and away from that horrible charnal ship. I could not stop thinking about what I had seen. The two pale, sunken faces, together in death, haunted my thoughts and my dreams for days and weeks to come. I took to my bunk aboard the ship and remained there for the rest of the voyage, where I would start out of sleep, shaken awake by a baby’s wail.

We reached Boston soon after, and finally Virginia, sweet Virginia, where spring had finally made its appearance, although the warmth of the sun did little to dispel the chill in my bones. On the last day of our trip, I brought the subject up to Captain Hollee, saying, “It is terrifying to think we might have suffered a similar fate, if Providence had not protected us.”

Captain Hollee looked disconcerted for a second, then he said, “Mrs. Clarke, before we left the ship, I took the liberty of taking away the ship’s log. The last entry was made twenty-five years ago!”

Friends, I had not yet made my appearance on this earth twenty-five years ago. And already that ship was afloat on the high seas with its terrible cargo. That woman and her ghastly baby—already dead and frozen, condemned to circle the north Atlantic unceasingly. They are there still. Waiting for someone to set them free—although I hope, friends, if you make a voyage, you will not suffer the sights I have seen. And still see, in my dreams, in my nightmares. I often pray that I will be able to put this disaster behind me…but then a dark night will arrive, a cold night, and a baby’s cry will come to me upon the wind. Then I must get me to bed with a pile of blankets and a bed warmer, and I shake and shake…I cannot get warm. I cannot get warm.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

get on the bus..I ain't never turning back!

So I was babysitting again today, and I'm not proud to say that I resorted to television a couple times to keep an eye on the girls while I prepared a delicious meal of peanut butter and jelly. But I thought I'd mix things up a little and put on the Doodlebops instead of Dora. The Doodlebops--pay attention new parents, because you'll want to know this--are apparently a trio of siblings who are rock stars of the pre-school variety. IE, they wear crazy-ass makeup and sing repetitive songs all the while talking directly to the camera.

Some of my loyal readers know how I feel about High School Musical and other mass-marketed commercialized crap. It is crap. There's plenty of regular musicals out there for young people, like Newsies or Hairspray, stay away from High School Musical! Hannah Montana, I'm looking at you! But the Doodlebugs get the Nicki stamp of approval because you can see how they are a gateway drug to more hardcore musical interests. Namely, Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself:



See what I mean?



I bet the actors who play the brothers Doodle sit around in the dressing room and fight over lipliner and argue about who looks better in tight pants. Yeah. So I definitely say Doodlebops for everyone...it'll make my job easier when the kids get older and I get them a box set of Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Training the Human

First off, a confession: I called Grandma last night just to catch up, since it's been awhile...and as we're wont to do, we discussed the current political situation, with me cheerleading Barack Obama and Grandma admitting that she really didn't want to vote for either of them. So I candidly suggested that she could, if she wanted to, write-in someone on the ballot, casually suggesting Mike Huckabee, since I know she liked him when he was still in the running. That seemed to perk her interest, and while I tried to sound patriotic, explaining that as Americans we can vote for whoever we want! in the back of my mind I must confess I was thinking "one less vote for..."

I am a bad, bad person. As punishment, I forced myself to write this a hundred times:

"I will not coerce my 93-year old grandmother into voting for a third party so I can get my candidate one step closer to the White House."

So. Yeah.

Zomg! Debate! Still on! Half an hour now--beer is chilling and buffalo wings are defrosting! You can keep your Superbowl parties...I only wish I had a crowd of Barack supporters here to share the love with me. O-ba-ma! O-ba-ma!

In the meantime, I still have a beagle. I'm starting to feel like the Dread Pirate Roberts--you know: "Good work, Wesley, sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." Only here it's more like, "I'll most likely get rid of you in the morning." But we're starting to speak each other's language, so it's getting easier. Oh, believe me, there are times when I am thisclose to chucking him off the verandah, but it is really nice having a dog around, especially one who falls asleep in your lap. Aw.

We've been having a problem with peeing in the house though. I know he can hold it, because he does while I'm away at work, but in the evenings--when he has to go, he'll find a spot in the house and let 'er rip. It's not marking, but full on splashdown. I posted a pic of Kiz in her oh-so-sexy bellyband, but even that didn't stop him. Then I started thinking--it's not him, it's me. He doesn't bark, he doesn't whine, he doesn't let me know he needs to go out. Sure, he hangs out by the door, but if I'm in my room, that does neither of us any good. I don't want him barking, but there must be something...so I bought a cat bell and hung it from the doorknob. I won't say that he's understood the concept yet, but just now he rang it to go out. WHOO. Of course, that necessitated a lot of Nicki fumbling into her shoes, saying "good dog, good dog, hang on--!" but that seemed to amuse him. If only I had some sexy wellies...



And the best part about the dog is you get to tell dog stories and be the person on the end of a leash who gets to generously ask kids if they want to pet your puppy. It's a novelty to have a friendly puppy instead of a cantankerous older dog--although when I picked Kizzy up from playcare today I learned that he got put into time-out a couple times for getting into an altercation with a black Lab. I won't say that having a dog is like having a baby, but I feel somewhat responsible, especially since I told him it was okay to defend himself if he was being roughed up. I am a lazy parent, what can I say? I even let him watch TV--but only until mommy's shows come on.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Dizzy & Ill

I swear, I've been feeling crappy more in the past month than I have the last two years. This morning I got up an hour early to wave at the Today Show people, which confused the hell out of Kizzy, since we were walking at quarter to six (yes, you read that right) when it was still pitch dark out. I tried to convince myself that the drumming I heard off in the forest was actually the William and Mary marching band practising early, but when I got to work I found out that Williams and Mary...doesn't have a marching band. The only other explanation I can come up with is ghostly drummers beating the march. Awesome.

The Today Show was a bust, I'm afraid. I hope everyone saw it so they could get a taste of the historical area, but we arrived too late to be visible. I was just behind a large group of people waving McCain signs, coughing "yes we can!" under my breath every now and then. I left early for work because I was starting to feel bad...sort of light headed and chilly and my stomach hurt. But it was cool to see CW getting some national attention...this is where I live!

I kept feeling bad at work today--after the chills, I started getting feverish, and I wasn't really able to focus. I stuck it out though, since there wasn't any one thing that was weird enough to warrant me going home. I did skip militia though...probably shouldn't be shooting off a musket when I'm having problems keeping my balance. My roommate was courteous enough to take Kizabiz for a walk when she got home, so I snoozed for a half hour. Then I had some bean soup ($1.50 for a bag of mixed beans! For three quarts of soup! Crap economy be dammed!) and a sourdough roll and now I feel better.

I'm so ready to go home in October--for anyone who hasn't heard, I'm leaving on the 10th of October for a week or so of family, weddings, homecooked meals and cheese curds. I can't wait. Lately I've been thinking a LOT about London and really missing it, but I think that's just because I have the wanderlust again. Hopefully going home will help. If not...London next year possibly. Possibly. Economy permitting.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

angry panda is angry

One of the women I sit next to and I had a conversation today that went something like this:

Me: I am a screaming liberal who thinks Obama is conservative.
She: I am a proud conservative who thinks McCain is waaaay too permissive.
Both: Ain't America great!

Which is about the only thing we can agree on. So we have these dance-y conversations where I'll say one thing and she'll say another thing and then we have to change topics because otherwise we'd be Discussing Politics which is forbidden at work. But we get along pretty well.

But today I couldn't stop myself from saying how sad I was that America was spending all this money on War when it could be spending money on other things, and my coworker unhelpfully pointed out that at least some part of the world has been at war for the last two thousand years. This is true. That doesn't make it okay. If everyone jumped of a bridge, after all...

But now I just got an email from a dear, dear friend who hit the point home, hard. Laura is in the Peace Corps, as you know, being a steward of America, carrying the banner of a friendly nation into places where all they know of us is our soda exports and our penchant for guns, and actually Doing Some Good, all the while helping other people learn that not all Americans are cowboys. But the Peace Corps is facing a major budget crunch, and they're going to be cutting funding...my brain doesn't remember all the details, but the new class of trainees for Romania will be cut in half for next year, and it's a possibility that the program could be scrapped all together.

The world truly is going to hell, dear readers, when we can find the money to spend on missiles and bombs that cost thousands of dollars and kill people, and yet we can't find the $200 a month it costs to feed Laura (and her cat) and keep her in a country where she's working side by side to create programs that will benefit people for years to come.

I'm starting to think of the lyrics from Les Miz: "Something's gotta happen now, or something's going to give." I don't like to be the pessimist, but it's starting to feel like our great nation is falling to pieces. Working here in Virginia, at the beginning of all things, I feel like I'm watching the end of an empire. The great arc which starts with the Declaration and ends when California secedes and the Midwest is covered in ten feet of snow. I'm just saying.

I don't want to be the pessimist. But if there was ever a time to stop what we're doing and say "what the hell!" this would be it. Let's get our priorities straight: Laura and her cat...not bombs.

Monday, September 22, 2008

bold as brass

The apartment complex where I live is full of spotty college students, because we're right near William & Mary, and because the rent is pretty low. Which means that when I take Kizzy out for a walk I have to keep an eye out for half-eaten pizza crusts and broken bottles of Bud Light. Honestly, I know you're nineteen, but if you're going to drink illegally, at least make it a good beer. Honestly.

But surrounding our apartment is an amazing assortment of greenspace. You just have to be rather adventurous to get to it. For example, if you cross the street and duck through a hedge surrounding an orthopedic sports clinic, you'll be in a little oasis of concrete that contains several office buildings, with four walls of forest on either side. I can be walking sedately on a sidewalk while Kiz is nose deep in nature, red in tooth and claw. Alternately, you can take the secret back way out of our complex, cross through the parking lot that surrounds the funeral home (yes, I live behind a funeral home, although it's not a very busy one), through the parking lot next to the middle school and voila--you're back into the forest surrounding W&M. There's even a fenced-in drainage ditch that works as an impromptu dog run when I shut the gate. Although there's usually less running, more sniffing when I drop the leash.

There is also a new development being working on across from me, a new neighborhood for Williamsburg called (wait for it) Newtown. This is where Other Nicole is building her house, and it's usually where I take Kizzy for his evening drag. (He's a beagle. He wants to stop and sniff. I want to wear him out so I can blog and take a shower without him chewing on power cords. I pull. He pulls. He weighs 17.5 pounds. I win.) I have mixed feelings about developments in general, but this one is turning into something pretty nice. There's lots of dog-friendly restaurants and a Lane Bryant. And I like having pavement to pound, instead of slogging through muddy forest when I'm just out for an evening stroll.

But it makes me sad that the entire world is being covered by concrete. And that's greenspace we'll never get back again. All the planned parks in the world can't make up for the beautiful caos that is a forest in its prime. When I was younger I walked through a half-developed neighborhood with another dog, to an untouched forest where we used to play all summer long. But when it came time to say good-bye to that other dog, I had to walk through someone's backyard. It makes me slightly crazy that the James City County courthouse has such a lovely green lawn--and for what? For nothing. So Kizzy and I romped around on it tonight...it's so squishy and green, perfect for a rubber beagle who likes to turn somersaults while six lanes of traffic meander by. And if we get yelled at, so what. I'll just tell them that we're taking advantage of the pretty greenness, since our apartment doesn't have any, and besides--the court is closed, everyone's gone home. I pick up after him, who are we hurting? Someone's got to take advantage of all this beauty mixed in with the concrete and bricks.

So I might have been feeling a little cocky when we returned home...remember that orthopedic sports office I told you about? Well, as we were walking past, I noticed they had a Coke machine in the lobby...I didn't even want a soda, but I wondered if the door was still open at a quarter after seven...it would be nice to know that it's possible to get a Coke later at night, should the need ever arise. Ah, the door is open. Kizzy and I strolled in, popped in a couple dollars and retreated, clutching a bottle of diet brown, much to the amusement of the few therapists there working late. Hee. Like I said--you've got to be willing to take advantage of your surroundings.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Marching On

Oh man. I just came back from the bathroom to find Kizzy perched on the sofa arm, nose in my half-drunk cup of tea. That would be his British heritage, I'm guessing. Aaargh...

I'm feeling quite proud of myself today, because yesterday I finished my Fife & Drum coat. The corps got all new coats back in June, before they went off to exotic Switzerland to compete in a tattoo there, and now we're getting some new coats in as people join or leave. Most of the coats are being done by contractors, but I begged, pleaded and cried a little to get assigned one. I know that it was probably a calculated gamble on the part of my bosses, since I've never built anything from scratch before, but it was nice to have a challenge.

I got a bag full of cut out pieces--heavy red and blue wool, with a lighter tweedy wool for the inside facings. The historical fife and drums were in red coats so that the enemy would know they were young kids and not to aim for them...not exactly sure how that prevented the Continentals from taking potshots at their own boys, but whatever. There were no instructions, no neatly numbered steps to follow, so I pretty much made it up as I went along. I did have an already constructed coat I could pull apart to check out inside construction, but it was sort of exhilarating, figuring stuff out. The most interesting part was attaching the sleeves: I put the body of the coat on the form, tacked the sleeves up, made a mark with a pin where they would match the seam, and then took it all down, pinned and stitched. It was quite a challenge, especially by the end where everything was together and suddenly I was struggling with twenty pounds of red wool coat. I know all you stitchers out there are probably going "yes, and?" but I had a good time. Especially the part where I pretended I was making a coat for my beau who was going off to fight and who might get shot in the coat I was making for him. Sigh. Little tear.

The reason I'm telling all y'all this is because you'll get a chance to see this coat if you tune into the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade in NYC...the guy who's getting "my" coat is one of the drum majors, so he'll be easy to spot. Thanksgiving Day! Watch it!

You should also tune into the "Today" show THIS WEDNESDAY, September 24th, from seven to nine eastern time. They're broadcasting live from CW as a part of their whistle-stop, cross-America tour...I'm not sure if I'll go down there and wave at the cameras like an idiot yet, but if I do, you won't want to miss it!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Save Bitch!

I know most of you think I read Bitch just for the thrill of carrying around a magazine called "Bitch" but they really are a great, intellectual response to the pop-consumer-culture that surrounds us everyday. Great My Little Pony debates aside. And they're struggling. I have less than no money, but if you're able, I would really encourage you to donate to keep this brilliant rag alive. Think of it as an easy way to get my birthday pressie out of the way.

More updates later...my plug shipped from Hong Kong today, so hopefully I'll be back on my own machine soon.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

karma bites back

In retaliation for yesterday's time off, karma has decided to get even. So today I:

Put the pocket on backwards in the coat and then, once I had got that sorted, put the facing in backwards.

Came home to pizza and a dog who was happily enjoying his chew toy...until I discovered that his chew "toy" was actually the cord to my computer and he had worked the plug clean off.

Had exactly $2.75 for the washer, but I need $3.00.

Fell and twisted my ankle slightly--enough to curtain Kizzy's evening walk, resulting in a major case of the zoomies.

Arg. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was Monday.

Computer's dying now...hopefully the plug I ordered from Hong Kong will get here soon or else I'll