Mr. S is gone this week, and some of my coworkers have taken it upon themselves to let me know how terrible I'm doing, also, that I'm not qualified for this job, and implying that I'm "just a writer." I was upset earlier, now I'm mad. Because I can do this--I DO do this, I just also happen to be learning on the job, so when I make mistakes it's because I've never done this before, not because I'm an idiot.
This reminds me of Nelson. British naval tradition dictated that there must be a strict hierarchy--even going into battle, the commander's word was law. You sailed in a line against the enemy's line, and the boss gave the signal to attack, retreat, whatever. This would be done by semaphore flag or, occasionally, shouting. After awhile smoke would make it hard to see, so you can imagine how chaotic things would get. Basically, Nelson got famous for flouting this tradition (also, pounding the hell out of the enemy, when gentlemen were only supposed to "best" one another), but also believed in the intelligence of his men. Before the battle of Trafalgar, he had numerous meetings with the other captains to explain his plan to them, over and over and over again until they could recite it in their sleep. Also, he had enough faith in them to say "Pick a ship, knock the snot out of it, and you won't be doing the wrong thing." I'm paraphrasing, of course, but the point is, is that he had enough sense to understand that the men in his command were intelligent enough to make intelligent decisions about their immediate situations.
Anyway. I'm paranoid my efforts this week will get back to Mr. S. via these people who are determined to see the worst in me, and he will realise he made a mistake hiring someone who was not trained to do this job, and I will be back on the street. I wouldn't miss most of my coworkers. I'd miss the one who gave me an article in Lithuanian and told me that Hitler actually saved his country from Stalin. But I like Mr. S, and I like working hard for HIM, so we'll see what happens when he gets back. If the worst happens, at least I'll be free to...ah, crap. Free to start over again.