Friday, January 23, 2009

driving ms crazy

YAY!!!! Friday! Can't wait to get outta here! Yay, car! Yay, driving!

Hey, the person in front of me seems really old and slow. That's cool. I'm not in a big hurry. Wow the weather is nice, maybe I'll roll down the windows---

WHOA, brakelights! *slam* Oh man, that little old lady in front of me must have seen a squirrel or something, there's...oh, wait, more brakelights. *tap* Oh...

Wait, do you think I'm tailgating you? Lady, you're barely doing twenty at this point, and I've OBVIOUSLY got plenty of room to stop, as evidenced by the fact that I am able to do so everytime you *slam* slam on your brakes.

Oh, great, now you're gesticulating angrily at me. Don't you think you should keep your hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road? Ya know, instead of on the car behind you?

Hey, I've got time. Even driving twenty-one miles an hour I'll STILL get home in twenty minutes. Tum tum tum.

I can wave back at you. Notice how I choose not to use my middle finger.

Damnit, stop waving at me and DRIVE.

GO THE SPEED LIMIT.

(which is twenty-five)

Fine. You know what? Fine. I'm going to put on some music and enjoy this ride.

"I need something else...to get me through this...semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby."

Oh man, this song takes me back. Maybe I'll sing along:

"good byeeee...good byeee...good BYEEEEE! do do do, do do do do..."

What, you think I'm going to crash into you because I'm singing along with the radio? At least I'm not slamming on my brakes and waving my hands in the air all the while watching my rearview mirror.

YES, TURN. Good. BYE.

Go home and tell your children about the psycho who tailgated you all the way home.

I've got some blogging to do.

2 comments:

Samantha said...

Obnoxious aren't they?

Diane Fields said...

LOL that is why i refuse to drive sometimes Nicole. My husband has been in Florida now for four days and i love the transit-the Red line just takes me right to the Toymaker. Just kidding as i told everyone at work at least it is a direct bus instead of transfering. I still get quite a tour of High Street and New Town,etc...
Diane
p.s. the RED Line to CW is $1.50 for the whole day-it saves on gas????