Patching things up

I am currently chatting with a woman from TurboTax, who has been unable to explain why when I click on "print and save" on the TurboTax website I get "buy your state tax returns from us" instead of my 1040s. I'm pretty hot about it--what if I wanted to actually save a copy of my taxes instead of using the federal forms to fill out my state taxes so I could get my $79 back from the state of Illinois? Because, damme it, after crawling over unshoveled mountains of snow all winter, Illinois owes me something for my pains.

Meanwhile.

Happy Easter everyone! I went to two services yesterday--an Episcopalian service at St. Bruton's (dating from 1715) and a Methodist service at the UMC (dating from 1785). I liked the Episcopalian sermon better (and the REAL communion wine was unexpected!) but the Methodist church has a CHOIR. Also, we got to sing "The Hallelujah Chorus" which was fun. My favourite part of that song is the bit where it goes "KING OF KIIIIIINGS..." a bunch of times until you're feeling faint and then you swing out of it with "And LoooOORD of Loords--andheshallreign!!" which is always difficult because you're out of breath and that phrase is on a page turn. I am going to see about joining the Methodist church, to sing again and try joining one of their adult Sunday school classes. They have ten classes. It's a huge church.

After church I went to a restaurant called The Blue Talon which is a French restaurant. I had lamb (well...Easter) and eggs (I know, I know...I'm a bad vegetarian) and coffee, served by a bartender who looked weirdly like Crispin Glover, but less creepy. Then I strolled around the grounds, enjoying the sunshine. All in all, a very nice Easter.

I was thinking Friday about anniversaries...we have national anniversaries, of course, but there are also personal anniversaries that are important only to the one person involved. Like March 21st, the day I flew home from London. It's hard to believe it's been a year. I never thought I would be in Virginia a year ago, but here I am. Friday night I went out and had a pint of cask-style IPA called "St. George"--the man sitting next to me warned me it was "warm" and I almost laughed at him. Oddly, I didn't really mind it until today when I was sitting, patching up a pair of breeches, and listening to "Blood Brothers." A truly terrible musical, but it's full of lovely British accents, and references to chip shops and a Thatcherite way of life that provoked a wave of nostalgia for the chippy in Brockley and the train to London Bridge. Ah, well. I won't get too maudlin. If I'm going back to London, I'm going back to stay.

Easter Sermon

Today is Easter Sunday. This is the big holiday for Christians around the world: not Christmas, as so many merchants would have us believe, but TODAY, the day that we celebrate Jesus' return from the dead. Jesus features in other religious traditions, such as Judaism and Islam, but he is not hailed as the Messiah because they don't believe in his Resurrection. Bear with me. Up until this point, there are many things in the Bible that are explainable, such as Jesus being able to heal people. After all, Pharoah's magicians could replicate most of Moses's tricks. Depending on what denomination you belong to, you may be asked to believe in other miracles as well--I'm thinking of Catholics here. The commonest theme across Christianity is Easter: this is the big one. Do you really believe that a man came back from the dead and then rose up into heaven? Well? Do you? Do you believe in miracles?


I find it frustrating that today we are asked to take on faith so many things that we can't see or that aren't adequately explained to us. I'm thinking mitochondrial DNA and imaginary numbers. Does anyone else remember imaginary numbers?! Negative one to the e power or something like that?! Come on!! When I put my foot down about imaginary numbers in ninth grade, I flunked math for the first time. But we're asked to do the same thing about Jesus's life. It's hard to be a Christian today, with so many historians trying to dig up His life, or decide what parts of the Bible are "true." What exactly did He say? This is where faith comes in. What is Easter? Easter is faith. It is faith in someone who said "Follow me" two thousand years ago and is still waiting patiently on the other side of the mountain to see if we will or not.

Faith is not easy. I've taken an interest in history lately (in case you haven't noticed) and one thing I'm struck with over and over is how history books tend to condense things. Even books dedicated to a sole topic will rush events so that you are reading about battles that took place over the span of several days in a few minutes. The same thing happens with the Bible. Jesus is in the garden of Gesthemane, two minutes later He is being crucified, and then He is resurrected later on the page. But think about it: Jesus had to live each of those minutes, and throughout each of them, he had faith. Of course he had moments of doubt--He may have been divine, but he was also Human--but He never stopped believing, He never stopped trusting.

This is the truth I'm meditating on today. I didn't go to church this morning, and for once Easter didn't inspire the normal rush of joy and emotion it normally does. Instead I felt sad that Jesus was gone: Jesus has gone up to Heaven, and left us mere mortals here behind. Prayers seem very thin when what I need is someone I can go out for pizza with. Then I realised that I wasn't thinking about Jesus, I was throwing myself a pity party for being alone in a big city. Why settle for pizza when there's a banquet in heaven? Ooo--was that a little too TV evangelist? Faith, that's what gets me through: belief that next week I'll get that job or meet some new friends. Faith that our leaders are going to come to their senses and that people will start to disarm their weapons. Faith in myself and faith in Jesus. I used to kick myself for making Him too human, but now I'm reassured when I read about Him doubting. Don't we all? The point is, He had faith, and so I should have faith in Him. It's not easy, but if I start to doubt too much, there is always--always!--that little voice at the back of my head that says "trust me." Faith in something you cannot see is not the trait of a backward religious fanatic, it is a act of strength in an increasingly fragmented world. No matter what I learn or what I read, I will Believe.

He is not here. He is Risen.

Alleluia!